***

"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours."
--Richard Bach


* * *

October 10, 2011

Order of Operation

When it comes to doing the important things in life first. . .I'm not very good. What I am good at is finding "good" things to do instead of the necessary thing. I always seem to have time to check my email or peruse Pinterest, but I never have time to clean the house really well or read a good book, not to mention scripture study.

We were watching a General Conference talk yesterday and it was basically about choosing to do those things that will lead to exaltation, rather than the things that eat up your time and take you away from the activities that invite the spirit and foster growth. I actually walked in toward the end of the talk, but Ben lovingly offered to rewind it for me. I declined and told him that I got the gist. While I only heard a short part of the talk (and I couldn't even tell you who was speaking) I knew that I needed to make a change. So, last night I made myself an order of operations list. I wrote down the things that I do or need to do in a day/week/month. Then I prioritized them. Here's my list. . .

1. Read scriptures
2. Do a load of laundry
3. Prepare for dinner
4. Go running
5. Tidy up the house
6. Make visiting teaching appointments
7. Primary stuff
8. Zone cleaning (flylady.com)
9. Read/Play with kids
10. Yard work
11. Watch a conference talk
12. Read a book or Ensign
13. Scrapbooking
14. Check email
15. Blog post
16. Pinterest
17. Facebook
18. TV

My thought was that if I had something visual it might be easier for me to do the important things first. Now, I realize that playing with the kids is more important than cleaning. However, they are at school most of the day, so that is why they are below laundry, cleaning and running. Some of the things are just so I spend some time doing them i.e. reading and zone cleaning. Some of them aren't things I will do every day, but I'd like to do at least once a week. . .scrapbooking, and blogging. I put visiting teaching appointments so high on the list, because if I have to work on that before doing some of the other things it might actually get done (I'm not a very good visiting teacher).

Today was my first day. I think I did pretty well! The kids were home from school so I didn't get to go running. I did get a lot of cleaning done, though. I also studied the scriptures and even got to watch a conference talk. It was a lovely and productive day. I know the kids enjoyed the extra attention they got. It made them a happier crew. . .which makes me a happier mom. I think I'm going to print out my list and laminate it so I can check things off as I go. Yes, I'm going to do that . . .then it will be even more visual. . .and I do like putting a check next to things that I've done. :) I figure, if it gets me one step closer to being more spiritual. . .it's worth it, right?

As a side note. . .Our decision to not watch TV during the week has been one of the best decisions we've made for our family. It was incredibly difficult at first. I was so used to having them sit in front of the TV for some quiet time. Since we started our plan, the kids have learned to play with each other. It's so great! They love to go outside and they will play upstairs for hours. Bella would occasionally ask if she could watch a show, but the boys have never whined or whimpered a bit. It was most definitely the hardest for me to adjust. But now, I'm loving it!

October 3, 2011

Late-Night Ramblings

I love when I see things that my kids do that remind me of myself. Last night, I was singing Simon his song (yes, he still lets me sing to him at night and hopefully that doesn't change anytime soon) and when I was done, he wanted to chat. He does this almost every night. He wants to talk, like he never got a chance to tell me these things during the day. I would say that he's just stalling. . .but I do the same thing. Ask Ben. He'll tell you. Anytime we go to bed a little later than planned, I'm always itchin' to talk about stuff. Ben's ready for bed. . .and I'm not. :) He'll say "Why do you always want to chat at 11:30 at night?" The answer is. . .
I don't know. Maybe it's because that's when my mind can actually think because there's nobody pulling on my leg or asking me for something?
I'm sure Simon gets it from me. . .and I love it.
I'm glad that he wants to talk. I don't even care what it's about. Right now it's mostly about anything Pokemon. When he gets older, I hope that he remembers that I've always had a listening ear. When the things that are important to him change from Pokemon to girls and from soccer to his challenges.
I want him to know he can always talk to me and I'll listen.

June 15, 2011

Tied to the Tube

It's been a while since I posted. I hadn't realized how quickly time has been flying by. I can't say that much has happened in the last two months. . .Nolan graduated from preschool, Simon finished first grade, Bella had a beautiful dance concert and Malia is walking all over the place! I have done nothing exciting. . .and I can't think of anything noteworthy for Ben either. I guess the fact that we bought a tent trailer is something to note. :)

This post is to tell about our new experiment. Ben and I have frequently discussed how much television the kids watch. My question is how much is too much? Ben had suggested once before that we not watch TV at all during the week. My response was, "Yeah, right." That's easy for him to say. . .he goes to work all day. I stay home with the kids and would have to entertain them. I told him that maybe we could start that when the school year starts again. To which, he rolled his eyes.

I know it sounds horrible, but I LOVE having the television as a distraction, a babysitter if you will. It is very convenient and easy to turn on a cartoon for the kids (especially Bella) while I try to get something accomplished. There is part of me that wouldn't really mind if they spent the whole day being vegetables on a couch wasting their childhood away. Horrible. . .right?
I did say part of me. . .and I really don't let them do that. However, Ben and I still think they watch too much. . .way way way to much. Like I said, we have talked about it multiple times, but never really done anything about it. That has now changed.

On Monday, Ben sent me a link to an article in the Deseret News. It was about how kids spend most of their time in front of screens. . .TV, computer, Nintendo DS, Gameboy, phones, and so on and so on. It suggests that families turn off their screens for a week and see what happens. It really was an interesting article.

After reading the article, and hearing a talk in General Conference about how we should be spending less time in front of the tube, Ben and I decided that we would give it a try. The only difference is that we are going to do it for the whole Summer and we aren't going to be totally screen-free. I know, it's crazy, right? I figure if we can make it through the Summer we will easily be able to continue when the kids are in school.

Here are the rules. . .

1) No TV Sunday through Friday - on Saturday they get to watch some, but not much.
2) Wii, DS, Gameboy, Computer games are only allowed on specified days. They can play Tuesday & Thursday for two hours, Saturday for however long they want. - we actually started this a while ago and it has been great. The only change is the two hour limit.
3) All the chores have to be done on Saturday before any TV or video games are played.
4) They are allowed to watch one movie a night - I already promised the kids a movie every night before we started our experiment. This is contingent on their behavior during the day.
5) Every day they don't watch TV or play video games they each get to put a sticker on the chart. When they reach a certain number of stars, (I think it works out that they can get enough every other week) we will take them camping in the tent trailer. (Something that we were most likely going to do anyway. . .but they don't need to know that!)

We are on day two of our experiment. Day one went okay. We went outside and worked in our garden, walked across the street and played on the swings, cooked dinner together, cleaned up the house together, and read books among other things. It was a fun day and I think the kids enjoyed having my attention a little more. It was, however, a little stressful. We did make a list of things that we could do instead of watching TV. . .but that list doesn't always help out. I have found that I am very used to having some quiet time during the day. The time when Bella and Malia are sleeping, Nolan is glued to the wii and Simon to his DS. I am also used to having Dora and Bubble Guppies as my babysitters. Without the cartoons, Bella is constantly right next to me asking me to do things with her or to help me with whatever I'm trying to do. I don't think that's a bad thing. . .just something I am going to have to get used to.

Today is going pretty well also. The kids and I did melty beads and did a little more cleaning. Right now, Malia is asleep and Nolan and Bella are supposed to be sleeping. . .only I keep hearing them moving around in their rooms. Simon has read a lot of books and I think I will work with Nolan on his reading today too.

I'd say this first day and a half have worked. It certainly isn't easy. . .not even a little bit. I miss the TV. That sounds so pathetic! I really do though. It was even hard for me not to turn it on and watch one of my shows. Ben was telling me that he went to the TV to turn it on multiple times. It's such a habit. . .for all of us. Even after one day, I can see how just turning off the TV can free up so much time! That is time that can be better spent. I remember looking at the clock yesterday morning and thinking "It's only 9:00! This day is going to drag on forever!" You lose track of time, and it seems to go by so quickly when your watching show after show. I can also see how all of that extra time can be used to teach my kids how to keep things clean, grow a garden, cook a dinner, use their imaginations (heaven forbid) and whatever else.

Growing up, I don't remember watching a lot of TV. We never had cable, so perhaps it wasn't the lack of desire, it was the lack of options. I have never felt slighted by that. I remember playing outside with my siblings all the time. I played hotbox or cowboys & indians or hide-and-seek with my brothers, and Tara and I used to play with Barbies inside and outside all day long. I like those memories. I'd rather my kids have those kinds of memories rather than memories of watching Pokemon or Phineas & Ferb.

Ben and I are hoping that we will be able to spend more time with our kids. Hence the tent trailer and the new TV rules.

I think it's going to be a long, yet beneficial Summer. Wish us luck.


April 19, 2011

Three down. . .

I'm sitting here in my bed and I can't sleep. Ben and Malia are on their way to Utah. First of all, I have never been able to fall asleep when Ben is gone. I hear every noise and only think of the worst things that could happen. Second, he took my baby. I don't do well without my babies. It wouldn't be so bad if it was one of the other kids. They are older and don't rely on me as much as a one year old does. She's been gone for four hours and I'm ready for her to be home. Pathetic. . .I know. When I came upstairs I was almost to her room to check on her before I remembered that she isn't there!
So anyway, I thought I'd give a little bit of an update on my goals for the year. There's bad news and good news. Bad news: My cello is broken beyond repair. Apparently it was broken when we bought it. . .we just didn't know that because it took me so long to get the bridge put back on. It also took some damage in the move and had a crack in it. Awesome. That goal will have to be put on hold. We are trying to cut back on the spending and buying a new cello doesn't really go along with the cut backs.
Good news: I have learned to use my sewing machine, and I feel pretty comfortable with it. There are still a few things that I have to check the manual about. . .but that's what a manual is for, right? I have also finished Bella's rag quilt! It turned out so so so cute. . .and I sewed it all by myself! I want to make another one. :) The last piece of good news is that I ran my 10-K last Saturday! I really enjoyed it too. I learned a few things before, during and after that race. Here they are:
1. Running is addicting! I love the feeling you get after a good run. I feel like I have actually done something healthy. It's a great workout. I also like the peace and quiet. When I started running I had an ipod with me to listen to music. I have learned that it's easier for me to run without that distraction! I'd like to say that I think about all the important things in life while I'm running. . .but I don't. I just run. . .well. . .it's more of a really fast walk. . .or a slow jog, but I'm going to call it running. :) I think of absolutely nothing. Love it.
2. Weight and age have nothing to do with anything. There were plenty of very large and/or very old people who ran the race faster than I did. There were also plenty of skinnier and/or younger people who were walking or out of breath or just plain slower than I was.
3. I look funny when I run. I sort of bend my wrists up or something, I don't know. When I watched the video that Ben took of me. . .I noticed that I look silly when I run. However, when I looked at the pictures of the other people running, I noticed that most of them look silly too. Maybe most people just can't look good while they're running?
4. I either need to get a brace for my knee or really work at strengthening my leg muscles. At about mile three, my knee was killing me. For a minute I was thinking I would have to walk the rest of the way. . .which I didn't end up doing. I can honestly say that I ran the whole thing. I'm pretty proud of that, actually. :) Unfortunately, I paid for it too. I could barely walk for the rest of the day on Saturday and was still in pain on Sunday.
5. I have an awesome husband and great kids. They always brought me water on my training runs and cheered me on as they passed me in the car. Then on Saturday, Ben woke up early, got the kids ready and hauled them to my 7:30 AM race (in the rain!). I saw them toward the end of the race. . .maybe in the last mile? The kids were jumping up and down yelling "Mommy! Mommy!" It gave me a nice little boost of energy. After the race Ben took good care of me. He made me lunch, fed the kids, iced my knee, filled the bathtub, let me take a nap, cleaned the house while I was sleeping, and took care of the kids while I sat lazily on my chair. He's a good boy. :)
6. I should wear black next time, not pink. I learned this, again, from looking at the pictures. Black is more slimming.
7. I should lose 10 more pounds. That's even more slimming.
8. I want to run another race.

March 24, 2011

Satisfyingly Good

Gardening, running, sewing and cleaning have never really been enjoyable things for me. In fact. . .I have detested all of them. . .for my whole life. I guess I haven't hated sewing that much, but I haven't really had the desire to do it, either. Pulling weeds was one of the worst chores I had to do growing up. I dreaded the fact that we had to run the track before cheer practice every morning. I never really understood how to use a sewing machine. And I think it's safe to say that I have never been very good at cleaning or keeping things clean. . .namely, our house. Well, I should rephrase that. . .I'm good at the actual cleaning. I just don't do it. I have become very talented at finding other things to do so there isn't time to pick up the house. :)

However, lately I have really enjoyed being outside working in the yard. We have a little section in our backyard that we prepared so we can plant a vegetable garden, and I've been weeding like a crazy woman! I love how it looks after you clear away all the dead leaves and weeds. I have also started running. I think that now I enjoy that as much as I hated it in high school. I feel great after I run. I can't run very far, but that's okay. At least I'm exercising. :) Sewing probably shouldn't be on this list, since I don't really hate it, but I have been doing that lately too! I made a rag quilt for Bella. It is so cute and it was so much fun to make. I would make more if the fabric wasn't so expensive. I'm certain I won't ever start sewing my own clothes. I'll stick with the nice, easy, straight lines of a rag quilt. Nolan keeps asking me when I'm going to make him one. Maybe next time he asks, I'll tell him "When Dad says I can". . .then he just might bother Ben about it instead of me. :) The last thing is cleaning. Yes, I said cleaning! I sort of find it relaxing. Now, understand that I'm not saying my house is always clean. There are six mess makers living in this house. It's hard to keep up. However, I feel like I'm doing loads better than I used to. I know that I'm enjoying it more. I do like having a clean house.

Maybe I enjoy these things because they have a good satisfying affect on me. There are plenty of times when I feel like I don't accomplish anything or that I haven't accomplished anything. The weedless yard looks satisfyingly good. I feel good after I run. Seeing Bella so excited for her blanket was good, and walking around in a clean house feels good too.
So, while I may not be good at all of those things, (I've killed a few plants, I don't run very fast or far, my quilt lines aren't perfectly lined up, and the house isn't perfectly clean) they do make me feel good. . .I like that.

February 6, 2011

Getting it All Together

I'm feeling like I'm having a hard time getting everything together. When I think about what goes on in a day, it doesn't seem like I'm very busy. Yet, I can't seem to get everything accomplished that I would like. Between my church calling, getting kids to and from school, sports, dance, play dates, keeping the house clean, going to the gym, making dinner, helping Simon with homework, and whatever else there is, I always run out of daylight and can't get it all done. It seems like when I go to the gym faithfully. . .the house is a mess. When I work really hard to keep the house clean. . .I don't have time for the gym. . .and either way, I'm always trying to cram primary stuff in at the end of the week to make sure it gets done for Sunday. Not to mention my lack of scripture study, missionary work, compassionate service and the goals I just made for this year!

I see other people doing a whole lot more than I do. They have higher demand church callings, they have larger houses that are always clean, and their kids are signed up for a gazillion different activities. What do they know that I don't? There must be a way to juggle everything without dropping the cleaning ball or the workout ball. . .right? I haven't figured it out yet, but I am going to.

Last week the girls were sick so I couldn't take them to the gym's child care. I decided that since I was home I would clean like a crazy woman in the hopes that next week keeping the house clean would only require some maintaining. (Leona coming on Thursday may have had something to do with it also. . .)

Tomorrow I am going to wake up early (5:15) to study the scriptures, do our morning routine and get Nolan ready for school. I'm going to go to the gym at 8:00. . .before I take Nolan. By 9:45 I will be back home to get in the shower and get ready for the day. 10:30ish is lunch time for Bella and following lunch is nap time for little girls. While they are napping, I'll clean something until I have to get Nolan at 1:30. Simon gets home at about 2:30 and his homework takes almost an hour. Then I need to figure out what we're having for dinner and prepare it. If all goes well, we will have dinner around 6:00, kids showered and ready for bed at 7:00, Malia fed and in bed no later than 8:00, spend time with Ben until 9:00, and be ready and in bed trying to go to sleep by 9:30!

It sounds so easy and doable when I write it down.

Here's hoping. . .

January 26, 2011

A Few Good Goals

Here are some things that I'd like to get accomplished this year. . .

Bella's blanket finished
Bella's scrapbook finished
Catch up on Malia's scrapbook
Learn to use my sewing machine
Run a 10-k race
Lose 15 pounds (I'm starting at 133 on 01/26)
Stop pulling my eyelashes and eyebrows
Make our 72 hour kits
Relearn the cello
Read 12 books

That is a long list of attainable goals. They are also goals that can't be accomplished if I procrastinate! I am good at procrastinating. . .so this might be kind of hard. BUT, I'm going to do them. . .all of them! Some of them are already in the works. I am going to register today for a 10-k here in Charlotte on April 16. I've started running to work my way up to the 6.2 miles needed. I have started Bella's scrapbook. . .I just need to work on it more often. Same goes for Malia's. I need to get my cello fixed in order to do that goal. I'll try to get that done by the end of this month. I really do love playing the cello. I'm hoping it comes back to me quickly! I haven't played for 13 years. learning to use my sewing machine shouldn't take long. . .I just need to sit down and do it. I'll put that on the plans for this week or weekend. I really badly want to finish everything on this list. I may add more to the list as I think of things, but this is a start! I'll update as things get completed. :)

January 18, 2011

My Bella Mae

I filled out the registration forms for Bella to go to preschool in August. . .it made me sad. My kids getting bigger makes me sad. I wish they could stay tiny forever. :) Doing that paperwork has made me think a lot about Bella and her personality. I've always said that she takes a lot of energy. . .and she does. . .but I just love her to pieces. These are the words that I think about when I think of Isabella. . .

Beautiful (I know I'm her mom, but she really is an incredibly beautiful girl!)
Busy
Social (she loves everyone. . .especially her Sunbeam friends)
Inquisitive
Artistic (she loves to color and make things)
Cook (she loves watching the food network and helping mom make dinner)
Sister (She adores Malia. . .sometimes too much!)
Helper
Imaginative
Mischievous
Girly (Holy Hannah she's girly!)
Defiant
Persistent
Smart
Sneaky
Fun
Loud (Nolan has a loud voice. . .but Bella is just loud)
Dancer (her favorite part of the week. . .dance class!)
Hoarder (she hides and stashes anything she can get her hands on)
Goofy
Talkative (I'm 99% sure she's never been quiet for more than five minutes unless she was sleeping)
Happy
Constant
Sunbeam (She loves going to church and loves primary)
Informer
Destroyer (This was Simon's nickname for her not long ago. . .and he came up with it on his own.)

I'm really excited for Bella to go to preschool. I think she will have a great time. Frankly, I'm excited for a little bit of a break from her busy little self. However, I also think that I will miss having her at home. She is so much fun to be around and she always keeps me on my toes. I love love love my Bella Mae.

Sheesh! When I'm crying while I type up a post, it's a good sign that I should stop. :)