Satisfyingly Good

Gardening, running, sewing and cleaning have never really been enjoyable things for me. In fact. . .I have detested all of them. . .for my whole life. I guess I haven't hated sewing that much, but I haven't really had the desire to do it, either. Pulling weeds was one of the worst chores I had to do growing up. I dreaded the fact that we had to run the track before cheer practice every morning. I never really understood how to use a sewing machine. And I think it's safe to say that I have never been very good at cleaning or keeping things clean. . .namely, our house. Well, I should rephrase that. . .I'm good at the actual cleaning. I just don't do it. I have become very talented at finding other things to do so there isn't time to pick up the house. :)

However, lately I have really enjoyed being outside working in the yard. We have a little section in our backyard that we prepared so we can plant a vegetable garden, and I've been weeding like a crazy woman! I love how it looks after you clear away all the dead leaves and weeds. I have also started running. I think that now I enjoy that as much as I hated it in high school. I feel great after I run. I can't run very far, but that's okay. At least I'm exercising. :) Sewing probably shouldn't be on this list, since I don't really hate it, but I have been doing that lately too! I made a rag quilt for Bella. It is so cute and it was so much fun to make. I would make more if the fabric wasn't so expensive. I'm certain I won't ever start sewing my own clothes. I'll stick with the nice, easy, straight lines of a rag quilt. Nolan keeps asking me when I'm going to make him one. Maybe next time he asks, I'll tell him "When Dad says I can". . .then he just might bother Ben about it instead of me. :) The last thing is cleaning. Yes, I said cleaning! I sort of find it relaxing. Now, understand that I'm not saying my house is always clean. There are six mess makers living in this house. It's hard to keep up. However, I feel like I'm doing loads better than I used to. I know that I'm enjoying it more. I do like having a clean house.

Maybe I enjoy these things because they have a good satisfying affect on me. There are plenty of times when I feel like I don't accomplish anything or that I haven't accomplished anything. The weedless yard looks satisfyingly good. I feel good after I run. Seeing Bella so excited for her blanket was good, and walking around in a clean house feels good too.
So, while I may not be good at all of those things, (I've killed a few plants, I don't run very fast or far, my quilt lines aren't perfectly lined up, and the house isn't perfectly clean) they do make me feel good. . .I like that.

Getting it All Together

I'm feeling like I'm having a hard time getting everything together. When I think about what goes on in a day, it doesn't seem like I'm very busy. Yet, I can't seem to get everything accomplished that I would like. Between my church calling, getting kids to and from school, sports, dance, play dates, keeping the house clean, going to the gym, making dinner, helping Simon with homework, and whatever else there is, I always run out of daylight and can't get it all done. It seems like when I go to the gym faithfully. . .the house is a mess. When I work really hard to keep the house clean. . .I don't have time for the gym. . .and either way, I'm always trying to cram primary stuff in at the end of the week to make sure it gets done for Sunday. Not to mention my lack of scripture study, missionary work, compassionate service and the goals I just made for this year!

I see other people doing a whole lot more than I do. They have higher demand church callings, they have larger houses that are always clean, and their kids are signed up for a gazillion different activities. What do they know that I don't? There must be a way to juggle everything without dropping the cleaning ball or the workout ball. . .right? I haven't figured it out yet, but I am going to.

Last week the girls were sick so I couldn't take them to the gym's child care. I decided that since I was home I would clean like a crazy woman in the hopes that next week keeping the house clean would only require some maintaining. (Leona coming on Thursday may have had something to do with it also. . .)

Tomorrow I am going to wake up early (5:15) to study the scriptures, do our morning routine and get Nolan ready for school. I'm going to go to the gym at 8:00. . .before I take Nolan. By 9:45 I will be back home to get in the shower and get ready for the day. 10:30ish is lunch time for Bella and following lunch is nap time for little girls. While they are napping, I'll clean something until I have to get Nolan at 1:30. Simon gets home at about 2:30 and his homework takes almost an hour. Then I need to figure out what we're having for dinner and prepare it. If all goes well, we will have dinner around 6:00, kids showered and ready for bed at 7:00, Malia fed and in bed no later than 8:00, spend time with Ben until 9:00, and be ready and in bed trying to go to sleep by 9:30!

It sounds so easy and doable when I write it down.

Here's hoping. . .

A Few Good Goals

Here are some things that I'd like to get accomplished this year. . .

Bella's blanket finished

Bella's scrapbook finished

Catch up on Malia's scrapbook

Learn to use my sewing machine

Run a 10-k race

Lose 15 pounds (I'm starting at 133 on 01/26)

Stop pulling my eyelashes and eyebrows

Make our 72 hour kits

Relearn the cello

Read 12 books

That is a long list of attainable goals. They are also goals that can't be accomplished if I procrastinate! I am good at procrastinating. . .so this might be kind of hard. BUT, I'm going to do them. . .all of them! Some of them are already in the works. I am going to register today for a 10-k here in Charlotte on April 16. I've started running to work my way up to the 6.2 miles needed. I have started Bella's scrapbook. . .I just need to work on it more often. Same goes for Malia's. I need to get my cello fixed in order to do that goal. I'll try to get that done by the end of this month. I really do love playing the cello. I'm hoping it comes back to me quickly! I haven't played for 13 years. learning to use my sewing machine shouldn't take long. . .I just need to sit down and do it. I'll put that on the plans for this week or weekend. I really badly want to finish everything on this list. I may add more to the list as I think of things, but this is a start! I'll update as things get completed. :)

My Bella Mae

I filled out the registration forms for Bella to go to preschool in August. . .it made me sad. My kids getting bigger makes me sad. I wish they could stay tiny forever. :) Doing that paperwork has made me think a lot about Bella and her personality. I've always said that she takes a lot of energy. . .and she does. . .but I just love her to pieces. These are the words that I think about when I think of Isabella. . .

Beautiful (I know I'm her mom, but she really is an incredibly beautiful girl!)

Busy

Social (she loves everyone. . .especially her Sunbeam friends)

Inquisitive

Artistic (she loves to color and make things)

Cook (she loves watching the food network and helping mom make dinner)

Sister (She adores Malia. . .sometimes too much!)

Helper

Imaginative

Mischievous

Girly (Holy Hannah she's girly!)

Defiant

Persistent

Smart

Sneaky

Fun

Loud (Nolan has a loud voice. . .but Bella is just loud)

Dancer (her favorite part of the week. . .dance class!)

Hoarder (she hides and stashes anything she can get her hands on)

Goofy

Talkative (I'm 99% sure she's never been quiet for more than five minutes unless she was sleeping)

Happy

Constant

Sunbeam (She loves going to church and loves primary)

Informer

Destroyer (This was Simon's nickname for her not long ago. . .and he came up with it on his own.)

I'm really excited for Bella to go to preschool. I think she will have a great time. Frankly, I'm excited for a little bit of a break from her busy little self. However, I also think that I will miss having her at home. She is so much fun to be around and she always keeps me on my toes. I love love love my Bella Mae.

Sheesh! When I'm crying while I type up a post, it's a good sign that I should stop. :)

Update on Goals

The kids are all in bed. Ben is at a young men's activity. . .and I don't know what to do with myself. I could clean. . .but I've been doing that all day (just to have it get messed up again). I should read my scriptures or a book or something. . .but I'm not feeling like reading either. I could go to bed, but it's only 8:00. That seems too early to be going to bed. Also, if I did that I wouldn't get to see Ben much today. SO, instead of doing all of those things, I thought I'd post something. . .since it's been a really long time since the last one.

Nothing really new or exciting has happened. This post will just be an update. :)

I have lost a total of ten pounds! It's kind of funny really, the scale says I've lost ten pounds, but I still feel really chubby. A part of me thinks that I need to get the weight off right now and that I'm too squishy. Another part of me says that I should be happy with how I am. I have four kids, all of which are very young and when I have clothes on, I really don't look fat. . .So, which one do I listen to? Maybe meet somewhere in the middle. Keep trying to lose weight, but don't feel so bad about it, maybe? Who knows. Maybe I can just get a tummy tuck! Ha! ;)

My plan for getting the kids up early was a bust. It was a good plan in theory, but when it came to putting the plan into action it didn't work out so well. I learned that it was a really dumb idea to wake up Bella on purpose! I still need to work on getting up at 5:30. I'm a pushover and if I hear Malia crying, I will go feed her. I don't like hearing her cry. . .and it's faster to feed her then to wait for her to fall back asleep. Anyway, she's usually waking up around 4:30. . .and then I just go back to sleep until I need to get Simon up and ready for school. I'll work on that one.

I have been going to the gym. It hasn't been every day, but it has been frequently. I met a great lady who takes her daughter to dance the same time and day that I take Bella. Her name is Sondra, and we have been working out together. It's nice to know that someone is waiting there for me. It definitely makes me want to go. I wish I could go every day. I'm finding that by the time I get there, drop Bella and Malia off at child care, exercise, then pick them back up and get home, two hours of the day are gone. That's a big chunk of time!

I have been sort of good about keeping the house clean. It goes in waves. I haven't quite mastered all of the routines that FlyLady teaches you. The house does stay clean more often than it used to. So that's a good thing. The kids and I cleaned the upstairs really well and we have started a new nightly routine. After dinner, and before bed, we all go upstairs and pick up. I'm going to try and teach them that if they clean up every night, it will never get to be a big mess and they won't have to spend a whole day cleaning. . .now if I can only teach myself that lesson! Simon wants to earn money to buy a Nintendo DSI XL, so I showed him how to clean a bathroom. He liked doing that and wanted to clean the other two bathrooms in the house also! I need to be excited about cleaning toilets like he is!

Well, I think that's about it. My conclusion. . .I need to be more disciplined!

As a side note, I was called to be the primary secretary! What a blessing! I'm really excited about actually having a calling. I was feeling a little useless. . .a low maintenance, low yield member. I've had the calling for about two months, and I am loving it! Nolan and Simon think it's pretty cool that I stay in the primary room with them. Sister Buckner has been taking Malia with her so I can do my thing. Everyone loves passing Malia around. She's such a sweet, good girl! Another blessing. :)

Weakness

Well, it's been a month since I started my plan. For the most part, I'm doing pretty well! I started going to the gym today. It's really cool because I can drop Bella and Malia off in the child care area and go work out. It was quiet. It was relaxing. It was wonderful. I guess it sounds funny to say that exercising was relaxing, but it really was. I'm doing that every day possible. I look forward to going tomorrow!

I went to the Relief Society broadcast last Saturday. I always have a hard time wanting to go, but once I get there, I'm glad I did. It seems easier to just watch it on your TV, in your pajamas with a big glass of ice water. I do enjoy the spirit that I feel when I'm with so many good women. You don't get that when you stay home. Most of the talks were about visiting teaching. That's not the greatest topic for me. I get a little irritated when I think of visiting teaching. My testimony of Relief Society and visiting teaching isn't exactly strong. I don't feel any great bond or a special attachment. But I know that I should. I want to. Really. I just don't know why I don't. Actually, that's a lie. I do know why I don't love visiting teaching. 1. I've never had visiting teachers who have come to see me. That may sound like an exaggeration, but it isn't. In the ten years of being and having visiting teachers. . .I've never had anyone come more than twice. 2. My visiting teachers have never brought meals when I've had kids or been sick or injured. 3. I always see people taking advantage of visiting teachers. For example, when we lived in Utah there was a woman who was pregnant with triplets. She asked for meals for three months. THREE MONTHS! I understand that she was on bed rest for a few weeks before she had the babies and I can't even imagine having three babies at one time. . .but three months? Really? She didn't have any other kids, why couldn't her husband help out with cooking for the two of them? Even here in NC there are people who ask for meals to be brought for more than week!

Just for some background. . .When I had Malia, my visiting teachers told me that they would each bring us dinner one night. At 5:30 PM one of them called me and said that the other couldn't bring her meal that night so she would bring two meals the next day in the afternoon. The next day we waited for her to bring them by, and finally decided that we needed to figure something else out because she wasn't coming, and she didn't. How do you do that? Why would you do that? If I couldn't make someone a meal, I would at least go buy them a pizza or KFC or something. I wouldn't just leave them wondering. I't has been six months and this still bothers me. Heck, the stories I told you before happened a long long time ago and they still bother me. Why? I don't think about it all the time, actually I don't think about it very often. Just when the subject of visiting teaching comes up. Today it started bothering me because our Relief Society sent out an email asking for help with meals for a week for my visiting teacher who just had a baby. I have zero desire to take her family dinner. I know that's wrong. I really do. I don't know how to change the way I'm thinking. How do I get to the point where things like that don't bother me? Ben would say "There's nothing you can do about it now, so why worry about it." I just think that is easier said than done. For now, I'll keep praying for the ability to control my thoughts and to know how to get over things faster. . .it's just not really working so well right now. I'm weak. Too weak for my liking. I'll keep working on it.

The Plan is Simply This. . .

I have this plan. It includes an early to bed and early to rise sleep pattern for the whole family, a daily exercise routine for me, eating healthy, losing 25 lb., studying the scriptures every day, and keeping the house clean. . .not just tidy. . .really clean.

How am I going to do this you ask? Let me break it down.

Early to Bed, Early to Rise

Simon starts school on Wednesday (I can't believe he's in first grade!). When he does start school, I want everyone to start a nightly routine. At 7:30 all of the kids will start getting ready for bed. Showering, brushing their teeth and whatever else. By 8:00 they will be in bed with family prayer said, songs sung and lights out. Malia usually goes to bed around 9:00 and right after I get her in bed I will be able to get myself ready. I'd like to be ready and in bed at 9:30. Getting to bed early will allow me to wake up early. The kids and Ben (If he's willing to participate) will be woken up at 6:00. For me, the plan is to get up at 5:30 (man, that sounds really early!). Eight hours of sleep should be more than plenty, right!? Yes, I'm right. :) That brings me to the next portion. . .

My Daily Exercise Routine

I read a book called This is Why You're Fat and How to Stay Skinny Forever, written by Jackie Warner. It is a very stupid title, but I really enjoyed the book. So much so, that I bought it. From reading that book I have learned a lot about eating habits and about the foods that are good/bad for you and why you should or should not eat them. She also talks about getting exercise. She says that it is better for you to do 20 minutes of exercise with varying levels of difficulty in the work out, than to do a 45 minute work out and stay at the same level. She also believes in lifting weights and doing different types of workouts using the weights.

That being said, I am going to start out by doing a 20 minute workout on my elliptical every morning. Ben and I were doing P90X before we moved to NC, and I will eventually start doing that in addition to the elliptical. However, for now we will stick with adding one workout at a time so as not to burn myself out and give up. (which is what I usually do with my all encompassing plans)

Eating Healthy and Losing Weight

I have decided to try out Jackie Warners method for eating healthy. It includes eating oatmeal, two eggs, and lots of fruit and vegetables every day. In addition you "eat clean" for a week and have two "cheat meals" on the weekends. She says you shouldn't have any sugar, but I'm not totally on board with that one. She compares sugar to cocaine and says you shouldn't have any at all. No milk, no ketchup, not anything with any kind of sugar. I don't buy that one. I did appreciate the fact that reading her opinion on sugar made me pay more attention to how much sugar is in different things. I am more aware, just not that extreme.

When we got home from Utah, I weighed a whopping 145 lbs. Ugh. That is almost as much as I weighed when a gave birth to Simon! I do not feel like I look fat. However, I do feel fat. I don't like weighing that much and I need it to go away. Since we got back from Utah, I have been following her diet, and I have lost 5 lbs.! I'm hoping I continue losing the poundage. . .if I do, and I get to my goal weight (120), Ben and I are going to go to Europe next summer! I'm guessing that we will be going whether I reach my goal or not. . .but I really want to work hard at it, so I should be able to make it!

Daily Scripture Study

Nolan will start preschool in about two weeks. He will go from 9:30-1:30 on Monday through Thursday. I'm hoping that by waking everyone up at 6:00 to get ready for the day Isabella and Malia will be able to take a nap while Nolan is at preschool. That will give me at least an hour of quiet, alone time. That is when I will study. I imagine it won't happen that way every day. There are bound to be issues with girls going to sleep or errands that will need to done during that time. If there are days when I need to study at a different time, I'm hoping I can accomplish that when Ben gets home from work or after the kids go to bed in the evening.

Keeping our House Clean

Katie and Angela love a website called flylady.com. I looked at it the other day, and now I love it too! It is a system for keeping your house clean. . .all the time. Right now I am doing the beginner baby steps. It is a series of habits that you start with. The first one is to keep your sink shining. Flylady says that if your kitchen is clean, it will be easier for you to keep the rest of your house clean. As the kitchen goes, so goes the rest of the home. You have before bed and morning routines and the house is broken up into zones. You start a new zone every week and each zone is thoroughly cleaned each month. It's great. I've only been doing it for a week, but I'm loving my clean sink and the routines so far! I'm pretty sure Ben is enjoying that the house has been a lot cleaner. I bet he can't wait until I start cleaning the different zones. It makes him happy to have a clean house. Heck, I'm even happy when the house is clean. :)

So that's it! That is my plan.

Wish me luck! :)

Good To Be Home

We have been back from our month long trip to Utah for about a week. We had so much fun! My mom flew here to NC on Monday, July 5. She came to help me fly back to Utah with the kids on July 6. She's such a nice mommy. Then Ben joined us on July 23. Anyway, we stayed with my parents for the first two weeks of our trip and for the last two weeks we stayed with Ben's parents. We went to the splash pad at Gateway, did lots of swimming and playing in the water in both back yards, went four wheeling, ate tons of Cafe Rio, drank way way way to much Dr. Pepper (that was me. . .the kids ate way too much junk food in general), went out with friends, went to the temple (!!), took family pictures, had the annual Bliss 24th of July BBQ, spent a day at the Drummond's annual campout, and everyone was thrilled to meet Malia (she rolled over for the first time while we were there!). It was good to see all of the family and some of our good friends. . .but I have to say. . .it was really nice to come home, get the kids back on a normal schedule and get back into our routines.

When we first moved to North Carolina, I quickly realized how I often took having my mom and Ben's mom around to help for granted. It was, for the most part, very easy living in Utah. We never had to worry about a babysitter, if we (more like if I) didn't want to cook dinner we just went to one of our parents house to eat, we could go to the temple as often as we wanted (and we tried to go once a month), I could go to the store without kids, and if I just needed a break I could call my mom and she'd come to my house or I could go to her house. She would help with the kids or I could let them run around out back and not have to worry so much about them. When we moved I had to figure everything out again. Now I have to take kids to the store or wait for Ben to be home or take Ben along (not his favorite activity). I went to the temple once last year because it takes about six hours round trip. I have to cook dinner. . .or order pizza (which we don't do often) or nobody eats. We have to plan babysitting carefully so as not to overload people too much. . .and I don't get breaks. These sound like complaints, but they really aren't. . .other than the frequency of my temple trips. I love living here. I love that I have had to figure things out for myself. I don't mind taking the kids to the store so much. It's not my favorite thing, but I've learned that sometimes it just has to be done, so I make the best of it. I feel like I am closer to the people in my ward because we have to rely on them more. Ben and I are closer because I turn to him for comfort, entertainment, a listening ear, and to relieve me from parenting duty at times. I liked living in Utah. I could move back there sometime. That time isn't now. I love living in NC and visiting Utah. It was strange really. When I got to Utah it just didn't feel like home. . .or that it would be home anytime soon. It is good to be back in our own house, in our own beds, doing our thing, day in and day out. It's just good to be home. :)

Hullabaloo

What is it about Nascar racing that people get so excited over? It's just a bunch of cars going around and around and around and around. They just keep making left hand turns. I don't understand the excitement. Ben was sort of watching it on and off tonight. He lovingly left me feeding Malia in front of the TV with no remote, watching Nascar while he put the kids in bed. (Isn't he a nice boy to put the kids in bed?!) Holy Hannah was that not the worst 10 minutes of my TV watching history?!? And yet, the announcers were loving every second of it. Saying "This is hold your breath racing!" or, "There is so much excitement going on in the front!" or, "You can feel the intensity here!" and when they showed the crowd everyone was cheering, jumping up and down and having a

grand ole time. . .seriously? I don't see it.

Nascar is huge here in NC. They have a Nascar speed park in Concord Mills. And they just opened the Nascar Hall of Fame in Charlotte. These are two places that I don't see myself visiting anytime soon. :)

I'm not sure what all the fuss is about, and I obviously don't share the enthusiasm. . .but, whatever floats your boat I guess.

What I Learned

I learned a few things today. . .

1. Helping kids clean is a lot easier & requires a lot less yelling than trying to have them do it themselves.

2. An iPod touch does wonders while waiting for an oil change.

3. Sometimes bribery IS the answer. :)

4. Nolan has been peeing behind the doors. . .(sigh)

5. I should have figured out that the swimming suits we need tomorrow weren't clean and started the laundry before 10:30 at night.

6. I have really great neighbors! It's only taken me a year to figure that out. :)

7. I'm ready to let the birds stretch their wings outside (and pray that they don't come back). They are driving me bonkers!

8. Walking outside barefoot on the hot roads is not a good idea.

9. I don't know how I'm going to last 17 days in Utah without Ben. . .I'm ready for him to be home now. I miss him.

10. I'm disliking the hot, humid summers in NC almost as much as I dislike the snowy, cold winters in Utah.

11. I really miss dancing. Watching the show So You Think You Can Dance reminds me of how much I loved it.